Uber Meats

The famous biologist Charles Boxwin once said:

“Evolution is like duct tape. The first time feels awesome. A tight stripe full of juicy glue, covering your angularly body. But repeating this over and over makes it worse.”

We, from Uber Meats, believe in that theory. There ́s always more! Organic lifeforms have always been around us. We used to burn them for warmth, we used to cut them in half for writing purposes. And we used them to envelope precious things. But why don ́t we use them for more? We ́ll start right into delivery business! Juicy human flesh from the wilderness right at your door! A new concept which makes all of us pioneers. Pioneers of profit!

This is your chance, precious apprentice! Today is your first day at Uber Meats. Show us your paper-sharp will to serve your own kin. We  will bring packagety even further!

Chief Executive Package,

Andrew Lettersson